Admit it. You're DOPE.
Jul 15, 2019
My tweenage son would be utterly mortified if he knew that I used the word "dope" in a sentence. "DOPE" meaning "of the VERY BEST KIND"... (marvelous, awesome, fabulous, first-rate, out-of-sight, splendid, stellar, splendid, superior, etc.)... so DOPE in a good way.
This blog post is inspired by the women in my “Stuck to Unstoppable” program. We have weekly Live sessions in Zoom or Facebook and a few weeks ago, one of the amazing women in a coaching hot seat shared that she tends to hide her accomplishments because she doesn't want them to seem so big.
Once she shared this, the other ladies chimed in about the fact that many of them were also hiding or downplaying their accomplishments as well. Can you relate? Are your degrees or certificates of accomplishments hanging with pride in your office? If not, why not?
WHY do we do this?
We downplay our accomplishments because we don’t want others to feel...
Would you stand your Bestie up at the Coffee Shop?
Apr 24, 2019
Hello, Beautiful.
Are you a person of your word? Would you ever consider telling your bestie that you will meet her at the coffee shop, but then never show up? Would you tell a colleague you will meet for drinks but leave her there sitting alone while you are finishing up a task at the office? Or tell your partner you are going to meet them at a restaurant and never show up?
OF COURSE NOT!
But then how many times do we tell ourselves “I'm going to get up early and write in the morning", "I’m going to the gym tomorrow” and then never do it? If we keep telling ourselves that we are going to do something and never do it, then we are telling ourselves that we don’t even believe in our own word.
Let me be clear… I am OFTEN out of integrity with myself. I’ve been working hard to identify when I am doing it, and then clean myself up, dust myself off, and get right back into integrity. We all slip...
STOP setting aside a whole weekend day to "work" on your dissertation
Apr 14, 2019
Hello, Beautiful.
If you haven't heard of Brooke Castillo and The Life Coach School and you LOVE podcasts, hers is the one I highly recommend to everyone I know looking to create a life of their dreams. Her podcast is one that I look forward to every week, and the concepts she teaches have inspired my own Life Coaching practice. Seriously... her teachings are mind-blowing and based on universal truths. The following blog post is based on her teachings. Please check her out if you enjoy the concepts discussed here.
Have you ever blocked aside an entire day to write your dissertation? Do you do this on the regular?
If you have, then STOP doing it.
If you are the type of Doc student who will avoid writing daily during the week and clear an entire day to write on the weekend so that you can catch up on what you were not able to get done during the week, I want you to lean in while I drop this truth bomb on you.
All with LOVE, of course.... because I...
When Your Brain Tries to Talk You OUT of Writing
Apr 10, 2019
Have you ever really wanted to sit down to write your dissertation, but find that you talk yourself out of it?
You say to yourself, "Well, I only have a half hour, so maybe I will just check email instead..." or "I'm not sure what to write in this section yet... I'll try again tomorrow." Only to find that tomorrow you don’t take action either?
Does this cycle continue day in and day out without you making the commitment to write through the confusion?
If this resonates with you, I have a strategy that is so simple (yet effective) that it will blow your mind.
If you have participated in any of my writing challenges, you KNOW I love me some Mel Robbins. The concept she teaches in, The Five Second Rule has been instrumental in getting me to take action on tasks I’ve been resistant to doing in my daily life.
In the winter of 2017, I was having a tough time getting myself motivated to walk every morning. While I've been a member of the 5:00 am...
Approaching Burnout - Regaining (and Staying) Motivated to Finish
Apr 02, 2019
No matter how hard you try, you just cannot motivate yourself to write. The revision process has been grueling, and you are overwhelmed with the theories or connections you will have to re-think and frame out. Cognitive work is exhausting... producing original work can seem completely overwhelming at times.
Approaching burnout and lack of motivation seems to be one of the most common sentiments that I hear from my coaching clients and the community inside my Phinisher's Sisterhood private Facebook Group when I ask what the biggest challenges are when going through the dissertation writing process.
I'd like to share 13 strategies to help you regain momentum, and get motivated by your progress to FINISH.
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Visualize
When you think about quitting, think about WHY you started. I have my clients keep a memento close to the dissertation workspace that reminds them of why they started this journey in the first place. Was it to model life-long...
Everything you have been told is wrong with Procrastination is a lie.
Mar 03, 2019
One of my favorite things to do is to wake up really early on the weekends when the rest of my family is still sleeping. I walk down to the kitchen, take our dog Murph out, pour my coffee, and tiptoe up to my office.
Early mornings are my sacred time to do deep thought work while the house is quiet and still, and before my loves wake up excited for their day to begin. "MOM... will you make me pancakes?"... "Can I invite a friend over?" or "Babe, what time do you want to go for our walk?" Being able to ease into a busy family day with a full cup and some time to think, reflect, and write is important to me, a daily practice that I established as a doc student years ago.
My morning ritual keeps me centered and I start every day feeling like I have accomplished something.
Every morning I do a thought download and write my goals out while quietly sipping my coffee, and remind myself of all that I am grateful for as I write in my gratitude...
Imposter Syndrome... I'm a fraud and everyone is about to find out.
Feb 11, 2019
I'm doing something really scary because it needs to be said. Truth... I have three degrees (Bachelors, Masters, Doctorate), over 20 years of experience in education, a very successful career, a heart that calls me to help women kick ass on their doctoral dissertations so they can move on with their lives, and some days I’m certain it’s only a matter of time before everyone finds out I have absolutely no clue what I’m doing.
I know I am not alone. I work with high-performing female doc students who blow my mind with how brilliant and articulate they are. And yet, we feel that soon enough we will be exposed as frauds.
I'm a fraud and everyone is about to find out.
Here it comes again... that crippling feeling of chronic self-doubt. It stops us in our tracks, paralyzes our momentum and motivation, and prevents us from making progress in our dissertation. Imposter Syndrome is a totally normal part of experiencing success,...
TEN Secrets to be WILDLY Productive in Writing Your Dissertation
Jan 09, 2019
Hello and Happy New Year!
Don't you just LOVE new beginnings and clean slates? The beginning of a new year is a great time to organize and map out the progress you will make in your dissertation this year.
This is especially important if you left 2018 feeling stuck... like there are not enough hours in the day with competing roles and priorities working full time, being a mom, wife, friend, daughter, aunt... setting out with good intentions to work on the dissertation but feeling pulled in a million directions when basketball practice for your 8-year old is re-scheduled. (Isn't that the worst?)
It is no fun when you feel like you hardly have time to get dinner together, let alone work on your dissertation. If you are like I was... the woman who has multiple identities and juggling priorities that seem to never end, I have some refreshing news for you…
Busy people GET SHIT DONE. It’s true… AND this is...
Detachment - A critical phase in writing your dissertation
Jul 05, 2018
It is easy for doc students to become frustrated in the cycle of “revolving revisions”… especially as they approach the end of the doctoral journey. Chair and committee requests for revisions are often met with reluctance. Sometimes it's difficult for doc students to recognize the value in revisions, and there is a sense of resistance... that the work we are doing has somehow become a part of who we are. We are too close to our research. We have a deep feeling of connectedness to our ideas and the years of work we have accomplished. This is a painful (and natural) part of the dissertation journey. We’ve talked about perfectionism prison before, and sometimes, this resistance is how it rears its ugly head.
So... how can we move past the frustration, the reluctance to accept when our committee requests revisions?
We do so, by aiming for detachment.
Eight weeks before my own dissertation defense, my chair...
How to Herd a Recalcitrant Octopus (the literature review)
May 23, 2018
Hello Future Doctor Friends!
Years ago when I started my own literature review, I read a metaphor on a doc student’s blog that really resonated with me, and it may with you too. The author said something to the effect that the process of writing the literature review can feel similar to herding a recalcitrant octopus, which then transitions into having a turangawaewae moment… finding a place where you belong, and of having a place to stand on and to speak from.
I loved this metaphor because the process of conducting the literature review is an exhaustive step in the dissertation journey. It can’t be rushed, is very time consuming, but once you have “herded” it, you have a solid foundation from which to build the case for your research. It’s a labor of love.
The literature review is a lot like telling a story about how every other researcher has made progress, but you are identifying a gap in the knowledge base and...